Happiness vs. Pleasure

I have been thinking a lot lately on these two feelings and how they are often confused with each other. I want to share what I have learned about the two and how to tell the difference between them.

First lets take a look at pleasure. It comes from external sources. It is associated with what we eat, drink, watch, listen to, or certain activities that we participate in. Pleasure is usually fleeting. It is a feeling that will soon leave us when we are no longer doing what was bringing us pleasure. Sometimes we are even left with pain and, or emptiness.

Now let’s look at happiness.

“Happiness cannot come from without. It must come from within. It is not what we see and touch or that which others do for us which makes us happy; it is that which we think and feel and do, first for the other fellow and then for ourselves.”

- Helen Keller

Happiness unlike pleasure does not come from others, or from things. It has to come from within. It begins as a choice, and then an attitude. It comes when we are grateful for what we have and what comes into our lives. It comes when we serve others and forget about ourselves and our own problems. Happiness is the result of living a life based on truths. We can be happy even when faced with great struggles and adversities.

I’ve learned these lessons after some of my own struggles. I’ve also learned some of my greatest lessons on happiness watching others and the way they remained happy even when faced with terminal illness, or after the death of a child, or spouse, or during other struggles or tragedies. Happy people all have one thing in common. They focus on blessings, they are grateful for what is and continue in hope and faith. I am so thankful for the people who have touched my heart with their examples of how to be happy.

May you find the happiness you desire. Look within. It has been there all the time.

-To your happiness.

Daneece

 

My thoughts on the economy, life in this country, and who’s to blame for this mess

So I was watching the State of  the Union Address last night and it started out pretty well, kind of eloquent and then it turned ugly. I couldn’t take it long so I pushed the power button on the TV and went back to work. Back to work meaning cooking, cleaning, and raising a family. It is because of this family that the future concern me. If it was just about me I wouldn’t worry too much. I’ve lived at times with little. If I had to I could survive with less. But I don’t want that for my children, grandchildren or even great-grandchildren. Did you know that the decisions we make today will have rippling effects that affect 4 generations. Really. Ask Dr. DeMille of George Wythe College. Anyway, back to the state of the Union.

There has been a lot of blame being thrown around lately. Who’s to blame. Some blame the republicans, others the democrats, others President Obama, some blame Bush, they even blame Wall Street, and still others put all the blame on God. So, who is to blame?

To do that we have to go back to the beginning. A really long time ago God created this earth-for those of you who doubt it let me stop here and explain. God is this perfect, all knowing, powerful being. The key word is perfect. Now, as part of His perfection he has a perfect knowledge of natural law. With that knowledge He created this earth. Science has been little by little explaining natural law and discovering laws that God used when creating this earth. It can all go hand in hand it just takes a perfect understanding of God. Disclaimer here-I do not have a perfect understanding of God and the preceding statements were not intended to ? that. After the earth was ready God placed Adam and Eve here. They made choices that led to the human race living a life of cycles. These cycles are patterns in life such as day and night, or the four seasons we enjoy each year. There are also patterns that are a little less noticeable because each part of the cycle lasts many years. It is all normal, and the one thing about it all is that things are constantly changing and shifting.

What does that have to do with now? We, as a country, are right where we should be. Have you ever heard the saying “history repeats itself”? It does. History has four cycles, just like seasons. Some refer to these cycles as High, Awakening, Unraveling, and Crisis. For a great read on this see The Fourth Turning by William Strauss and Neil Howe. Any guesses on where we are? You’re right. We are in the Crisis. Each part of the cycle takes about 20 years to complete itself and some calculate we’ve been in this one already about 5-8 years, so we’re getting close to about the half mark. Any guesses on when the last crisis was? The Great Depression.

So what does that mean?  It means that what is happening is a normal part of history, kind of like winter is part of every year. So are we victims of history? No. Just as we are not victims of winter. We are free to choose our actions, thoughts and those will bring consequences that will leave us victorious or defeated.  Who brought this country out of the Depression? The people. The crisis before that was the Civil War. Who helped our country overcome that challenge? The people. Who were our founding fathers and others who fought for the freedom of this great nation? People. Where is the solution for this current crisis? In each one of us. If we want us and our generations to continue to enjoy the freedoms and prosperity of this great country we must look inside ourselves and find the solutions. That is where they lie.

If we wait for the government to solve our problems we will lose our voice and our freedoms. If we blame the government we will lose our voice and freedoms. And when all is said and done what good does blame do anyway. When has blame solved anything. The solutions to the crisis we face are in each one of us. We can do it. We have to do it. Our freedom and the freedom of our posterity is at stake.

-okay that was a little lengthy, thanks for staying with me. To your success and happiness-Daneece

Savings-A Wealth Building Principle

Over the past years I have read numerous books, attended various seminars and listened to countless cd's on wealth creation. In all of this I found a wealth creating principle that every successful person would agree was fundamental in their creation of wealth. That would be the importance of savings. Most would even say that it is not enough to just save, but would go as far as to encourage a savings of 10% of all you earn. Some of these highly successful people include Robert Kiyosaki, author of the Rich Dad, Poor Dad books, T. Harv Ecker, author of Millionaire Mind, and founder of Peak Potential. Another teacher of this principle is Janine Bolon,founder of Smart Cents Inc. and author of Money, It's Not Just for Rich People.

Even though most financially successful people would agree on the importance of saving money in creating wealth, not one of them can explain why. The why is not as important as the knowldge that it works. Like in the days before Newton when the Law of Gravity had not been explained it was not any less important to be careful not to fall from a high place, it is not any less important to live the principle of savings. Maybe someday somebody will be able to scientifically explain why saving money is important in the creation of wealth, but until that day I choose to save and enjoy the consequences of living this principle

Building a Child's Self Esteem, Compliment Don't Criticize

Self Esteem is extremely valuable. If your child has a good sense of self-worth he or she will be less likely to give into peer pressure, and more likely to be successful, have healthy relationships, and excel in general. I find self-esteem, high or low, stems from how a child is treated at home. Parents with a good sense of self-worth seem to, in most cases, pass that on to their children, where parents who suffer from a low self-esteem seem to pass that on to their children as well.

If we look at families who have a low self-esteem there is one thing that seems to be a common thread-criticism. Parents often think that if they tell a child what he or she is doing wrong, and if only they would do blah blah instead, this will change the child's behavior. In most cases the opposite happens. The child, or anyone for that matter, usually knows what they are doing is undesirable, criticism only frustrates them, making them feel less loved, less cared about, and lowers their self-esteem.

What is the alternative? Sincere praise. Praise goes a long way in building a child's self-esteem. We need to tell our children daily how wonderful they are, and acknowledge their successess. Think about a time when you have received recognition for a job well done. Now think about a time when someone criticized something you had done. Which of the two motivated you to perform better? Most likely it was the time you received praise. Our children are no different.

Many times the child who acts up more, and makes it harder to find things to praise him or her for, is the child who needs praise the most. If you are having a difficult time finding things to praise this child for, start by making a list of 10 things you like about this child, or person. Then find opportunities through out the day to compliment that child on those things. Compliment when you want to criticize. Suprise your child. I promise you will see a difference in him or her.

As parents we love our children very much and want the best for them. We want them to be the best they can be, and criticism seems to come so natural to some. But criticism is not an affective way to help our child become that great person they were born to be. Change the criticism into compliments, and fill your child with self-esteem.

Thank you for taking the time to visit my blog today. I hope that things that I have shared today have been inspirational. My hope is that we can all continue to learn and practice true principles enabling us to live a happier, more peaceful life.

Until next time,
Daneece

10 Secrets to a Happy Marriage

My husband and I have been married close to 14 years. They truly have been the best years of my life and each year becomes better than the last. You may be asking yourself "Can that be true?" Yes, it is true. How can that be? I asked myself just that while preparing a presentation on marriage for members of our church.
I came up with 10 things, or secrets as I like to call them, that we have practiced in our marriage. I want to share these secrets with you. Here goes.

1. Kiss each other often

2. Become best friends

3. Practice tolerance

4. Forgive

5. Avoid criticism

6. Put God first

7. Spend time alone with each other

8. Look at your spouse with spiritual eyes

9. Be a place of refuge for your spouse

10. Love always

By putting these 10 things into practice you will find your marriage relationship growing into something more beautiful then you could ever imagine. Don't let this list overwhelm you. Maybe there is a lot in your marriage that is not where you want it to be. Do not be discouraged. Pick just one of these secrets and start there. When that secret becomes a habit pick another one. If your desire is to have a happy marriage, and you are willing to pay the price, you will receive what you desire.

Thank you for taking the time to visit my blog today. I hope that things that I have shared today have been inspirational. My hope is that we can all continue to learn and practice true principles enabling us to live a happier, more peaceful life.

Until next time,
Daneece

Proverbs 29:2

Here we are in the year 2008, another presidential election soon to be upon us. If you are like me you may feel bombarded by all the political propaganda. You may have already decided on who you are voting for, and the negative ads against that person provoke negative feelings, or you may find yourself arguing with those of a different view point. How should we make the decision of who we vote for? Should we believe the ads we see on tv, radio or in the newspaper? Should we just not vote? I would argue that not voting is not the best choice. We need to take our voting rights serious and study the issues and the candidates, but how? What do we look for? Who do we believe? I want to pose an idea? Take some time to study the candidates lives? Have they lived a life of virtue and honor? Have they lived a life of principle? Proverbs 29:2 reads,

"When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; but when the wicked beareth rule, the people mourn."

If we reflect back on history a moment we can find that to be true. How was life under Hitler? What about under Abraham Lincoln? One defended freedoms, another used force and control. Do we want the next leaders of our country, states, and towns to rule by controlling us, or defending our freedoms?

Let's reflect back on the word righteous. If we replace "the righteous" with "those who lived principle based lives" we can get a different perspective. True principles are taught in many cultures and religions. True principles do not change because one is Muslim, Jewish, Buddhist, or Christian. Honesty is always honesty, patience is always patience, peace is always peace, integrity, fidelity, responsiblity, perseverence, charity, these are all universal principles.

Let's take these universal principles and see how those who wish to be in political positions live them. Not just in public, but maybe, may I suggest more importantly, in private.

Thank you for taking the time to visit my blog today. I hope that things that I have shared today have been inspirational. My hope is that we can all continue to learn and practice true principles enabling us to live a happier, more peaceful life.

Until next time,
Daneece

Principle Based Happiness

A few months ago I was reflecting on my life purpose and thinking,"What could I do that would add to all the wonderful things that have already been accomplished, spoken, and written by those that have gone before me". Suddenly an idea came to me to share with others what brings happiness into my life, and as I reflected on this I realized that all the peace and happiness in my life was based on true principles. You may be asking at this time what I mean by true principles. I would answer with the words of Stephen Covey. "Principles are guidelines for human conduct that are proven to have enduring, permanent value." Some examples of this are honesty, integrity, kindness, love, tolerance, patience, sincerity. When we practice these things it brings a happiness that is long lasting, not fleeting. For example honesty will always build trust in a relationship where dishonesty will destroy a relationship. Love is edifying where hate is destructive. Think of some examples in your own life where this has proven true.

Some people refer to true principles as natural laws. They are just as real as the Law of Gravity. They exist in every part of our lives. There are physical principles, spiritual principles, financial principles, health principles, every part of our lives is affected by principles or laws. The more we come to understand and put into practice these principles the happier we become. More peace and security comes into our lives, our relationships become richer, our financial situation improves, our health improves, our lives improve. Would you like to improve your life in one, or all of those areas? If so I invite you to come back often and check out my blog. I will be adding links to other sites that you can visit to learn more about living true principles and improving your life.

Thank you for taking the time to visit my blog today. I hope that things that I have shared today have been inspirational. My hope is that we can all continue to learn and practice true principles enabling us to live a happier, more peaceful life.

Until next time,
Daneece